Those who know me know how smitten I am with my beau.

I can’t help it. Really I can’t. I am utterly in love with the biggest Brooks and just imagining him smiling at me makes my heart go into crazy arrhythmias.  It’s enough to make me lightheaded and sick to my stomach. Love shouldn’t make you sick, right?

I dunno. But I kinda like it.

That being said, being a military spouse there are times that the relationship is experienced a la’ long distance. But I don’t buy into the long distance thing. Please don’t send me hate mail, hear me out 🙂 Because the way I see it, whether here or there, he’s still my husband, right? And other than the obvious our relationship plays out in similar fashion regardless. There are some advantages to my beau being so darn far away. Some benefit him more than me, and vice versa.

Here’s my list. Fancy me, will you?

1. Conversations can be limited at times due to work schedules, slow internet connections, whatever the case may be. This had benefits in two regards:

1a. I can’t talk his ear off. I actually think he appreciates this. I have a whole lot to say and even though I talk fast I don’t always get around to everything. I just want to tell him every little single thing that has ever crossed my mind. I know at times when he’s home he tunes me out. But I rattle on anyway, just content to stare at him while his eyes glaze over. True story. But when he’s gone he listens to everything! Well, what I can get out anyway.

1b. Arguing is moot. Really, who wants to waste time arguing when there is just so little time to talk anyway? Of course, when he gets huffy with me I kind of like it too. Look at my earlier point at the beginning of my post. Kind of backwards, I know, but it works for us.

2. The “romance” goes up a notch. I cherish every little note that man has ever written me. I hide them away in pocketbooks, wallets, pockets in the car, my make up bag. They make me smile. And when he’s gone I love the little things he writes me. The way he conveys how much he loves me, appreciates me, etc. Hey, sometimes it’s a simple, “I love you,” and it might as well have been some complicated poem, I melt over that stuff.

3. Discussions of the future. This come up frequently. Why not? You’re already planning on seeing each other sometime in the future anyway, so it’s kind of fun to plan for what might happen down the road. And doesn’t that make you stronger as a couple anyway. Visualizing yourself a few years down the road? Shoot, I visualize Brooks at 70ish anyway… um… That’s another story.

4. I have less housework to do. Come on, Army wives! You all know when the men leave there is less work around the house. Less laundry, less cooking, less tidying up. I will admit that I am blessed to be married to  a man who understands my OCD tendencies and who strives hard to keep me happy by tidying up after himself. So even though I have less work to do, I miss it. I miss laundering his uniform and tucking his PT’s into the drawers. I miss hearing him shower in the morning while I finish up breakfast. I even miss seeing him sitting on his chair in the afternoons as I talk his ear off, his eyes glazed and distant… I used to kick that chair. Because he loves it so and would sit in it. Sometimes I still kick it. Because now he’s no longer there and I miss that. Seeing him there, his boots by the door. So even though there is less to do, I miss taking care of him. It’s like a big part of my job is temporarily on hold. Sometimes I go into his closet and close the door behind me so I can smell him. True story.

5. Flirting over the phone is fun. I love it. Brooks doesn’t have to flirt much to get me all kinds of blushing. I like it most when I mess with him and he does this little laugh thing, and then it makes me laugh. And then I get a little sad, because I miss him here.

6. My grandmother had this great saying she said to me years ago when Brooks and I first started dating. I think it was obvious to everyone how serious we were and I was in New Orleans with her at the NAEYC conference. The saying had something to do with the fact that if it’s true love distance will only make you stronger. Gosh, but it was such a pretty saying, and in Spanish to boot, but when I’ve asked her she has no clue. True story. Anyhoo, my point being that I think these deployments have the opportunity to draw two people closer to each other. I think, so many times, they are looked on with fear, because everyone’s scared it’ll pull you apart, but gosh, I always feel like Brooks and I are closer afterwards. That’s not to say these separations have always been easy. We’ve been able to gleam a lot of life lessons from them.  And we’ve had our ups and downs, but at the end we’ve been forged with fire and come out steel. Is it steel? I dunno. I hope that’s the right one 😉

7. Skype with video feels like a date. And I get to see him, so doubly good for me.

Sometimes when we can’t get the Skype to work I’ll close my eyes and imagine he’s right there beside me. It makes things better on days that feel hard to bear or get through. I do miss my best friend with all that I am. And that can be hard.

So although distance may separate us physically, it doesn’t have to do the same to our relationship.  Keeping things spicy helps for sure. I won’t give details on that particular point. I’m not a prude anymore but I’m not vulgar either 😉 I’m a big fan of continuing to date after marriage. Because dating and flirting are fun, and why should that stop just because we have bills and a kid and responsibilities?  And these deployments 🙂

As RandR looms closer I’ve started visualizing that pick up at the airport. I always feel like my head is going to explode, I’m about to go blind, my stomach will expel all it’s contents, and my chest feels like a hummingbird is trapped inside. Sometimes, even my palms sweat. And I have to remind myself to breathe. Maybe that’s why I get so lightheaded.

But when he’s finally in my arms… okay, our arms (I have to include the littlest Brooks here), it’s like he was never gone. I fit into his arms just right, he smells like home, and I always feel like the luckiest girl alive. I can’t get enough of the sight of him. And for two very brief weeks I’ll be on cloud nine.

Advertisements