We received the devastating news this morning that our beloved JayJay has Lymphoma. For the last two days I’ve quietly searched the internet in the hopes that her symptoms were merely the result of some type of infection. In my heart I had already received the terrible diagnosis. My wonderful husband, who quite honestly always knows exactly what to say, assuaged my fears and set my heart at rest. I felt a little silly taking her in this morning, convinced I had frightened myself into believing the worst.

And yet, just seeing her laying quietly on the floor of the vet’s office, her usual fear of the vet suddenly gone, I just knew. And then of course, after a few tests, the face on the vet, as he tried to put into words what we both knew to be true… well, I lost it.

I remember the first time I laid eyes on JayJay. I was sure she was not the dog for us. She growled at anyone who approached her kennel. I was kind of afraid of her. But Brooks assured me she was just scared. He was right. JayJay is the sweetest dog. The kiddos that come to our home are instantly drawn to her sweet demeanor. She tolerates the littlest hands, be they prying or unkind or gruff. She’s always ready to kiss anyone who will let her and loves to give hugs, all the while tucking her head into your shoulder, nuzzling you, just loving on you.

I miss her already and she’s still here.

And my sweet boy. The realization that his Girl won’t be around much longer has left him racked in tears. He was sure he’d be sneaking her into his college classes some day. I remember how devastated he was to learn dorms don’t allow dogs. He answered easily that he’d just live with us then, with us and his JayJay. The love affair of those two has been a wonderful thing to witness.

So, today, in our house at least, there are too many tears to count being shed, with the end nowhere in sight.